"Mila"

Mila is a joyful and strong young woman who has been at the safe house for almost a year now. She is just 17 years old but is a leader in her community. While at the safe house, she has done immense work healing and talking about her experiences.

Mila started her story with the death of her father. Her family was living in the country when this happened. At the funeral, her grandfather suggested that she come and live with him in Nairobi so that she could continue her education. Mila has always been very bright, and it was also her wish to keep going to school. Mila was so brilliant that she skipped a few classes, as she showed much promise.

When the pandemic hit, she was in class 7 and was 15. She was spending a lot of time with her friends, which she says contributed to her experiences in hindsight. She says that she wishes she had better friends. She met an older man in form four. He was 22 years old. Mila told me that she didn't like this man at first, but with time they formed a relationship and started seeing one another.

One night, Mila and her friend made their way to his house. He sent Mila's friend to the shop to pick something up, and he started asking Mila to have sex with him. She said no at first, as she didn't want to do this. She felt she was too young and did not understand the concept of consent. He asked her many more times, and when she said no, he forced her into having sex. Mila did not state that he physically forced her, but she does say that she never wanted to do it in the first place.

When Mila found out she was pregnant, she grew depressed and anxious. She also felt a lot of guilt because her grandfather had paid for her education, and she thought she had betrayed him. Feeling like a burden, she chose to run away from home and live with the man who got her pregnant. While still distraught, she attempted to get rid of her pregnancy by drinking a concoction of bitter tea leaves. When this didn't work, Mila felt she had no other choice but to keep the child. During this time, her grandfather was looking for her, and she left without an explanation.

When the police found Mila, her child's father was arrested because he was over 18 and she was not. The man's mother came to bail, and he was set free. Her family also discovered that she was pregnant, and Mila grew even more ashamed of her situation. She moved in with her partner's sister, and she thought she would be safe there, but she started verbally abusing Mila. When she could no longer handle this, she took a few of her belongings and fled.

She spent two weeks on the streets trying to figure out where to go and what to do. Mila revealed that she was also taken advantage of during these two weeks. Three different men, on separate occasions, told Mila she could have a place to stay if she would sleep with them, and because she felt like there were no other options, she agreed after much reluctance.

Mila remembered that she had a friend who worked at a hospital, and she was connected with a doctor. This doctor suggested an organization that then put her in contact with the shelter. During the year, Mila has grown immensely. She states that being here has been a miracle from God, giving her a new purpose.

She has learned skills and knowledge about sexual violence and gender-based violence. She also recently obtained a certificate from EBU for business. She hopes that this will help her get a job in the future. Mila's dream job has always been catering. She knows that she has a long way to go, but being around people who share similar experiences and support her has helped her heal from her experiences.

Mila states that she was never taught about consent or sex in school and believes it should be a part of everyone's curriculum. She thinks this is a critical step in the right direction and will work to reduce instances of violence.