"Yuva"

Yuva's eyes glistened with optimism and hope for the next generation of the LGBTQ community. As we began the interview, Yuva established the reality of growing up in Nepal as a gay man. Before he understood his sexuality and what that even means, he was abused by one of his older brother's friends.

It was Shivratri that day, the festival celebrating Lord Shiva. Bright lights decorated the streets, and the festive mood was in everyone's hearts. Yuva's parents had left the house to celebrate with their extended family, leaving Yuva alone with his brother and the brother's friend. Yuva knew he was different, and it was apparent to other people. The brother's friend verbally abused him with slurs such as chhakka and hijra. These are both derogatory terms usually to describe more feminine men and transgender individuals. At the time, Yuva didn't know what they meant. Now, he has become all too familiar with these words. Yuva ignored him, and in anger, the brother's friend grabbed Yuva's penis. Luckily, Yuva could flee, and he remembers running out of his house. He ran through the embellished street, tears dripping down his cheeks.

Verbal abuse has become a staple of Yuva's experience as a member of the LGBTQ community. His classmates, coworkers, and even strangers on the bus and the street have verbally abused him. Historically, chhakka was used to describe a eunuch, someone who had their genitals removed. At the same time, hijras are considered the third gender in South Asian culture. Although these terms had historical meanings that people of the LGBTQ community identified with, they are now used in a derogatory manner and simply untrue in Yuva's case. It is important to note that many people in Nepal do not understand what sex, gender, and orientation mean. Therefore, people in these communities are usually lumped together, and blanket, hurtful assumptions are made about their identities.

With time, community engagement, and self-acceptance, Yuva has learned to use these situations as an opportunity to educate the abuser and those who are ignorant. He always tries to remain calm in these situations as he believes nothing will improve if he lashes out at these individuals. Yuva's message to these people explains that while his sexuality and the way he dresses and behaves may be different, he is a kind human being who deserves respect. All people deserve respect. He compared his situation to the situation was of a disabled person. They did not ask to be born this way but should have all the opportunities that anyone else should have.

After saying this, we asked him whether he was glad to be a gay man or wished he was born straight. Yuva felt this way for a long time. Even the opportunities Yuva faces are limited due to his sexuality. Yuva trained in restaurant management for ten years in India. Still, after returning to Nepal, he is only offered dish-cleaning jobs. No one enjoys being othered, and when the closest people to you don't accept you, you wish you were different. Yuva's family didn't know for a large part of his life that he was gay. Eventually, Yuva found organizations and groups in Nepal committed to empowering the LGBTQ community and changing the cultural and legal strains that they have to face. He found a group of people to express his feelings and put into words his experience, thus slowly learning to accept himself. He has now told his mother and elder brother. His mother accepts him, but his elder brother struggles with Yuva's identity. Yuva is okay with this. However, he knows that it is difficult to challenge a person's views, and at the end of the day, Yuva accepts himself.

It's difficult changing the cultural and societal norms. Yuva emphasized the value of including gender and sexuality early on in the educational system. Repeating and reviewing gender and sexuality throughout one's education will be important in accepting the LGBTQ community in the long run. Organizations like BDS are working towards this, but this change takes decades to unravel. In the meantime, Yuva believes all members of his community should be empowered to educate those around them. He educates his abusers and helps his friends who have difficulties with their families. He recalled this one incident a few months ago with a younger member of the LGBTQ community. His friend had not spoken to their family in 3 years after coming out. They were ashamed but longed to visit their family. Yuva is known for his eloquent saying in his community, which was apparent in the interview. His friend thought his presence could remedy their situation with the family. Yuva was honored to help, and he explained his friend's situation similar to the one described above. They responded with fear of how society will see their family and child. This is a common sentiment in Nepalese culture that often restricts a child's individuality by questioning how society will perceive it. Yuva responded, "If your own family doesn't accept you the way you are, how can you expect the rest of the society to accept you?" In the end, the family found a new perspective towards their child's situation, and things seemed to have improved.

Nonetheless, it is not just the general society whose opinions matter, but also those in power, such as the police and hospitals. Police brutality is another commonplace experience for LGBTQ people. Although sexual abuse towards transgender people is punishable by law, the police rarely enforce it and, in many cases, perpetuate the cycle of sexual abuse on members of the LGBTQ community. The law does not protect men who face sexual abuse. Yuva himself has faced violence from police members after cross-dressing but did not describe what had happened. From other interviewees, we learned that the police would jail members of the LGBTQ community if they come with a complaint of sexual abuse. They put false charges of prostitution on them as there is a prevalent belief in hyper-sexualizing people of the LGBTQ community. The police may ask for bribes, physically beat them, or even rape them. Yuva believes that organizations like BDS should work with government officials and law enforcement to train them to act appropriately in situations like this. Hospitals are another place of mistreatment and judgment. A while back, Yuva had to go to the hospital for a sex-related mishap. When describing the incident to the doctor, Yuva noticed the immediate change in tone and behavior. There was an aura of discomfort and disgust—even doctors trained to be unbiased hold negative stereotypes towards the LGBTQ community. Yuva also mentioned how difficult it is to be employed or find reasonable rent. All aspects of their lives are severely tainted by those who hold power.

The people in power must make choices to protect and uplift the LGBTQ community. There are only so many organizations like BDS and people like himself who can change perceptions. Another possible solution to their struggles would be offering reservations to members of the LGBTQ community in government jobs and education. Creating reliable opportunities would be an excellent method for more LGBTQ people to position themselves in positions of power and affect change from the inside. In Nepal, this type of reservation is already done for people born low-caste. Yuva has seen the positive impact this has implementation has had on members of the lower-caste and believes the same could happen in the LGBTQ community.

Yuva has already seen a notable shift in perception over the past 15-20 years. There is less mocking, and the youngsters he interacts with recognize the plight of the LGBTQ community. Yuva exclaimed with a big smile how happy he is seeing such a significant change over his lifetime and expects to see great things in the next coming years. When asked if he wanted to add anything else, he repeated how important respect is. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect, and if you wish to respect, you should pay it forward. The members of the LGBTQ community did not ask to be discriminated against so harshly. Still, Yuva believes that it is imperious to remain respectful and positive, for then, we will see a brighter Nepal.