"Aswathi"

Although it has been illegal in Nepal since 1963, child marriage continues to be a rampant issue in rural parts of Nepal. Aswathi is a 20-year-old woman from a western village of Nepal Her father died when she was very young, and her mother was left to take care of her and her siblings. When she was in grade 8, Aswathi’s mother told her that she had no other choice but to marry. Because the family struggled financially, Aswathi accepted the marriage. She told us that she had no idea was what marriage and love even were at the age of 15. However, in an attempt to please her mother and potentially rid herself of financial burden, she followed through. As soon as she was married, Aswathi was physically and emotionally abused by her husband. At first, she believed that it was because she had trouble getting pregnant. Her mother told her that it would be difficult to conceive as she was so young. She felt forced to have sex, as she thought if she were to get pregnant the vioelnce would cease.

After three years, Aswathi was able to give birth to a baby boy. However, the violence done to her body did not stop. Her husband used to make her undress, and he would beat her chest and her legs with belts. Aswathi struggled mentally and emotionally. She believes that because she was from a maternal family (she did not have a father), her in-laws and husband had negative perceptions of her. In an attempt to make her situation work, Aswathi traveled back and forth from Nepal and India. Her husband had family in India, and she went for the first time after she gave birth. Even in front of his relatives and friends, Aswathi's husband beat her. He would also lock her out of their home in India for days on end. Aswathi was alone and afraid in a foreign place. She begged her husband to let her come back to Nepal, and finally, he gave her the money to do so. Before leaving, her husband took their son and left her at the bus station. She came back to Nepal and went immediately to the safe house. She has now been here for one month and wishes to arrange a mediation with the help of the staff.

Her husband says that he will legally pledge to stop violating her body, but Aswathi is not convinced. He has also told her that he will either take the baby or give it to her mother, but he will not allow Aswathi to see her son. We asked Aswathi what her wishes are in the situation, and she told us that for her son’s sake, she hopes that the two of them will solve their issues and come to a reconciliation. She says that if he beats her again, she will leave him. She also knows that he will most likely try and take their son away from her, and she thinks that if this happens, she was never meant to have a son. She will be devastated, but she knows that she must put her safety first.

When we asked Aswathi what needs to happen for violence to stop, she mentioned education and awareness. She did note, however, that access to education is purely a financial privilege and is dependent on the level of the family. At the time, Aswathi felt as though marriage was her only option for some stability. This is a theme that I heard a lot while in the most rural parts of the country. Child marriage is still rampant and is considered to be a pious act. With the power of local village government, formerly referred to at the Punchyat, it is still something that actually occurs quite frequently. While in the safe house, Aswathi has learned more about her experiences and what has happened to her. She now feels more empowered to leave the situation if it does not improve. She does not quite know what lies ahead, but she possesses the confidence, thanks in part to the work of the safe house, to move forward with less fear.