"Nabin"

“There are many girls who experience what happened to me, and I want to be a voice and provide justice for them.” Nabin is a 20-year-old law student aiming to become a public attorney. The name Nabin means new beginnings. Despite her horrific story, she is one of the most motivated people I have ever met. She works tirelessly for a new beginning and a better future. Please note that this story is distressing, so take care as you decide to read it.

From seven to fourteen, Nabin was raped by her father almost daily. Her mother was not there, as she was out working and did not come home for months. She told me that her mother worked in foreign employment, meaning she would leave the country to work. When she was in grade 7, her teacher talked about the issue of rape. She felt something in her body and knew this was her situation. Nabin bravely opened up to her teacher and was told not to say anything.

When Nabin first got her period, she was afraid as she did not know what was happening to her body. Her father told her that she would continue to bleed if she did not have sex with him. The abuse continued, and her father made her take abortion pills and forced her to drink at-home remedies to stop pregnancies. He told her that if she told anyone the truth, he would kill her; she feared for her life.

Nabin’s depression worsened, and she attempted to take her own life by hanging herself and taking pills. She wanted the pain and isolation to stop. She reached out to friends and teachers but received no care. Nabin could not keep quiet about her experiences and decided to look for her mother. Nabin always looked up to her mother and hoped for support and comfort. After a month of searching, Nabin discovered that her mother was a sex worker and was staying in a guest house. She told her mother what had been happening, but she did not offer the support that she needed. Every night Nabin stayed with her mother, there was a client that also stayed the night. She felt the same fear she had in her father’s house. Nabin felt forced to go back. Her brother was also still with their father, and she cared for him and his safety.

Nabin felt that her family lacked stability. They struggled financially, and her mother was never present. Upon discovering his wife’s true profession, Nabin’s father went to his wife’s guest house where he confronted her. After many arguments, she agreed to come home with them. Nabin always believed that her father abused her due to her mother’s absence. Unfortunately, this was not the case. When her mother would leave the house, her father would rape her. The family also continued to struggle financially, so on top of her classes, Nabin cleaned houses to bring in food and necessities for her family. Instead of recognizing Nabin’s contributions, her father would smash her head into plates of food if he was not satisfied with the way she cooked.

Despite feeling dejected, Nabin told another teacher about the abuse, and she happened to be a member of the National Women’s Commission who offered to help her with shelter housing and legal help. Nabin told her teacher that she wanted to help her brother and that she wanted the opportunity to continue her education. Within two days, Nabin packed and gathered their important documents like birth certificates and citizenship status, as she knew how valuable these would be.

While in a shelter, Nabin filed an FIR (First Incident Report) and her father was taken into the police station for questioning. After many hours of interrogation, he finally admitted to raping his daughter. He was sentenced to 15 years in prison and was ordered to pay his daughter 1 lakh (about USD 1000). Instead of being met with support, her mother got angry at her for going to the police. She was worried about how people from the community would see them. Many family friends were also upset with Nabin for reporting this abuse. She says that she does not care about what others think of her and that no amount of money will ever heal the wound that this situation has created. Nabin saw how unstable her parent’s relationship was, and she still believes to this day that her father never saw her as his daughter. He used her to replace the lack of love in his marriage.

In the shelter, she has been continuing her education, receiving counseling, and being around people who support and believe her story. When she was young she used to think that women and girls were purely objects and should do as they are told. This is all she ever knew as this was how she was treated. Through counseling and education, she has learned that this is not the case. She tells us that her number one priority is her education. She wishes to visit her father in prison once she is a public attorney and say to him “I am much more than you ever thought I could be.”

As Nabin told me this story, I really couldn’t believe my ears. This young woman has been through so much and tried everything she could to get support. She now believes that every young girl should fight for their education and focus on this as their number one priority as with increased rates of education for young women, they will be more empowered to stick up for themselves. It was also lead to a wider understanding of this issue. Perhaps with a larger understanding comes a more responsive community.