"Roshna"

Stories of atrocious violence shake our souls and question our faith in humanity. Roshna experienced violence from her husband, who she was married to for ten years. Her pains haunt her and her children, and she immediately was in tears as she recounted her story. Her children are still timid, as they were deprived of a playful and joyful childhood. After her second child, her husband went to Malaysia for foreign employment. He was constantly paranoid about her cheating on him and would accuse her of being a sex worker over the phone. After returning from Nepal, he sexually, physically, and mentally tortured Roshna every day. He locked her in a room for days on end in her own home. On multiple occasions, he would force her to undress in front of their children and force her to have sex. He beat her in front of their children and told her that she brought shame to the family.

Roshna recalled many of the horrors her husband put her and her children through before she found a way out. When she tried to tell her in-laws and her own family, she was dismissed and undermined. Her mother-in-law blamed her for how she was treated, referring to her habits of buying expensive clothes which she had never done. Her brothers-in-law were army men and police officers, but they too didn’t believe her story. She even went to her husband’s grandfather, who recommended he undergo mental rehabilitation. After complaining to the police, they could not arrest him as they required a court order, which takes months.

Amongst the abuse, her husband had a strong belief that Roshna was a sex worker and threatened to kill her if she didn’t admit to this. He even claimed that she slept with one of his relatives, who was just 17 years old. To make her confess, he brought a knife and rope. Everyone knew what was happening, but no one supported her and her children when they desperately needed it.

Roshna lived in constant terror, but when her husband asserted that he would do the same to their daughters, it incited her to find a way out. He told her that he would rape their daughters so that they would not bring the same dishonor that she had brought to his family. Roshna began tailoring classes to gain a skill, but this only fueled her husband’s suspicions of her sex worker. When the government announced a COVID lockdown, Roshna knew that the abuse would only get worse, thus she decided to stay with her brother. Knowing her husband was heavily involved with drugs and alcohol, her brother recommended sending him to rehab. It was a miracle her husband agreed to it, but he returned in four days with no difference in his behavior.

Finally, someone from her tailoring class was able to help her find legal support. They recommended she file a divorce and go to a shelter immediately. She was able to quickly pack their belongings, but she was terrified her husband would find out. After abusing her the night before she left, he asked her for the money she earned from her so-called “clients." Of course, she had no money to give, and her husband was furious. Her daughter, who was in the room, was complaining of tooth pain, and he slapped her in rage. Luckily he went into a deep slumber soon after, and Roshna took her children and bravely left. With no means of transport, she walked with her bags and her three children in the dark night to the shelter.

After arriving at the shelter, it took them all a few weeks to begin living normally. Her children were traumatized, and none of them could sleep or eat as they feared the husband would locate and kill them. Nonetheless, living with other women and the community she has found at the shelter has reinvigorated her to forge a path. She makes beautiful flowers out of recycled materials and is focused on becoming a tailor to provide for her children independently. She said how disappointed she was in her family, who are all educated and have good jobs, but even they chose to be ignorant to the realities of her situation. With the shelter’s help, she wants to be a voice of understanding and empowerment for other women who have experienced similar atrocities.

Roshna immediately broke down as she tried to recount these awful experiences. It seems that she still carries an immense amount of pain, rightfully so. However, it also seems as though she has found a community and a family that supports and believes. While we were at the shelter, we saw the immense amount of love both the children and women had for one another. Roshna also expressed how she feels like she can breathe easier and sleep better. She is an incredibly strong individual and has fought for her own and her children's safety.