"Sylvia"

Sylvia is pictured here posing by the house she built for her and her baby. The house is tiny, but she makes do and keeps going to support her child. We sat outside and spoke about her experiences and the pain she had endured. After her husband, a retired soldier abandoned her; she had to do her best to source funds to buy bare necessities and take her son to nursery school.

Sylvia started her story by telling us that she got married and had a baby. Her husband infected her with HIV and was always a violent person. A traumatic incident left her firstborn with severe injuries that killed him. While Sylvia was breastfeeding her baby, her husband tried to grab the child from her. Sylvia resisted, and the child ended up on the floor. Her husband meant to kick Sylvia but ended up kicking the baby. The baby was rushed to the hospital, where he died later.

The community leader in the village tried to go to the police and assist Sylvia, but because he was a retired soldier, they did nothing to help. Sylvia tried to go to her parents, in-laws, and other relatives, but they did not support her. Sylvia felt trapped, and thus, she stayed in her marriage.

After some time, Sylvia's husband wanted to have another baby. While attempting to process her immense grief, Slyvia did not want another pregnancy. Her husband began to beat her daily until she agreed to his requests. When she did get pregnant and delivered a baby boy, her husband ran away and abandoned her.

The police said that even if they were to catch him, he would only be in prison for a short time. He would be even angrier and be more violent when he came back. As of now, he is nowhere to be found. Sylvia's baby is now old enough to attend nursery school, and she is doing all she can to take care of him.

The community leader has seen her progress through counseling and says that she can now understand her experiences, and no part of her wants him back in her life. While she doesn't know if he will return, she knows that he will most likely not come back because he abandoned her and killed their child.

She recognizes that the root of many of these issues is poverty. All her life, she has experienced this, and due to her HIV status, doing laborious work is difficult for her. She hopes to own her salon one day to provide for her child and have necessities. Taking into account her experiences, Sylvia recognizes the need for better laws and the augmentation of enforcement of these laws.

We asked Sylvia whether she ever wanted another baby, and she told us that she was scared of her husband at the time and felt that her life was on the line. She also knew that they lived in poverty and could not provide for a child. On top of this, she was processing the traumatic loss of a child. Cases like these highlight marital rape and the pressures surrounding sex. It is unclear whether or not marital rape is illegal under the law in Malawi. It is currently listed as case law, meaning that there have been cases interpreted within the context of the official penal code. Most of the time, it is interpreted that non-consensual sexual intercourse in marriage is not unlawful and therefore can not be said to be criminal. Many of these stories feature an aspect of abandonment by the person who did harm. Because law enforcement doesn't place a heavy emphasis on finding those responsible, many individuals live in fear every day, wondering if this person will come back to harm them again. People try to comfort these individuals by saying at least this person is gone. Still, they fail to realize the ramifications of these words and the danger and severity of the situation.

Sylvia is trying to move on and live a better life. She is currently taking part in the microfinance program at a local organization. She told us that she wanted to start a business, and this program will give her the capacity to do so. While it is easy to focus on the trauma and lack of familial support in her life, Sylvia feels the emotional support of her community. She is also excited for the opportunity to one day own her salon through the microfinance program.